Speaking of Christmas: Was Jesus a Hippie?

by Brett Roberts

Some hippies like to claim that they’re following in Jesus’ footsteps, and that He was the original hippie.  Was He?  Think you have to wait until the end to hear the answer?  Well, here it is:  No, Jesus was not a hippie.  In fact, Jesus was the anti-hippie.

Why are you still reading?  OK, let me lay this out for you.  Jesus dressed like a hippie.  Jesus had hair like a hippie.  Jesus spoke of peace, hope and forgiveness.  So, Jesus was a hippie, right?  WRONG!  What did I just tell you?!  Don’t get off track.

If Jesus’ attire made Him a hippie then everybody back then would have been one.  Jesus wasn’t making a statement with his attire.  He did not stand out because of his dress, nor did He stand out because of His hair.  Hippies?  You can spot a hippie almost before you can smell the pot smoke if you’re upwind.

Jesus was alert, focused, and precise in the deep wisdom He shared.  Hippies?  To interpret their drug-induced chatter as “wisdom” requires the listener to be named Lucy and to be listening while in the sky with diamonds.

Jesus lived the life of a hardworking carpenter.  During the last years of His life, His ministry, He worked harder than ever.  He honored His earthly parents and fulfilled the ultimate mission set forth by His Father.  Hippies?  I would not describe the parents of a hippie as “proud.”  Nor would I describe hippies as hard working.  I guess Jesus could be considered a wanderer during his ministry, but the comparison ends there as His goal was not finding the next free concert and weed stash.

Jesus and His apostles spoke clearly against fornication and adultery.  Hippies?  Not only were they incredibly casual in sexual partners, but their phrase “free love” made it clear that it was just one more thing that didn’t require a paycheck.

Jesus spoke of peace and forgiveness, but He also did not hesitate to kick some butt and take names when necessary.  Jesus’ message was one of how to gain peace for the individual soul, not military instruction on conflict avoidance.  Japan is now one of the closest allies of the U.S..  There is no greater peace that could’ve been gained with Japan than through military conflict.  Hippies?  War is not free, man.  If you want peace, then just have it… for free.  All you have to do is hold up signs claiming that weakness, conflict avoidance, and refusing to stand up for what is right equals peace.

Adam and Eve were given dominion “over all the earth” and given “every beast of the earth… for meat.”  Hippies?  Humans are the scourge of our Mother Earth.  Animals are our brothers.  We can’t eat our brothers.

There are no records of any statements regarding Jesus’ stance on evil corporations.

So, if you’re a hippie, stop claiming Jesus as one of your own.  If you’re an ex-hippie then you’re probably serving in the Senate or House of Representatives or producing films in Hollywood.  FYI, no matter how many films you make trying to make hippies look cool… it won’t work.  Not even Hollywood is that powerful.

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Posted by Brett on Dec 20 2009. Filed under World. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.