Maximum Wage Passes

by John Roberts

It appears Americans have finally had enough of the outrageous bonuses and wages for CEO’s, and other “disgustingly rich” individuals. The recent Maximum Wage bill has been signed and passed into law. Included in the bill was an increase in the minimum wage to $100,000, which is also the maximum wage.

Politicians in Washington say they got the idea from watching the Jay Leno show. During his opening monologue Leno joked “Why do we keep raising minimum wage like this. Let’s just raise it to $100,000 and be done with it.”

Up to this point, it’s difficult to know what kind of long term effects this new law will have. Many executives of corporations have announced plans to quit and go into retirement. Others have expressed desires to move to Europe where they say they have more “opportunities”.

“This is just further proof that we needed to do this,” said Ohio Representative Mary Jushon. “You can’t just make millions of dollars every single year. This is America! I say good riddance.”

An average American citizen was asked on the street his opinion of the bill. “Man, this is great. Ain’t America great? I told my mom school was for fools. I especially like the part where I can’t be fired, and if I quit, I can still get paid for a year and a half. Needless to say, I’m on my way to quit my job right now. I don’t know why we didn’t think of this sooner. Working is so unfair.”

Most Americans are getting a raise under the new bill, but skeptics have questioned whether or not the bill creates a massive class of elites. Those in favor of the bill have argued that the bill abolishes all classes. “Sure, everybody will drive a Lexus and have a large home. But think of all the green jobs this will create.”

In response, chief economist from the University of Pennsylvania said “Green jobs?”

Members of the House and Senate have an exemption to the maximum wage in the bill, and also received a 10% raise as an earmark on the bill. Meanwhile, Person Magazine has reported that Jay Leno has also been exploring opportunities overseas.

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Posted by John on Feb 5 2010. Filed under Economy. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.