The American Freedom Anti-Propaganda and Family/Education Safety Act
Protesting the Good Protest
By John Wharff
For those of us concerned with the state of our great union, good news is just down the pipeline. Recently announced is the new American Freedom Anti-Propaganda and Family/Education Safety Act, or “The Bald Eagle Act” for short. As its name implies, this act has far-reaching and vast-sweeping effects, all of which are geared specifically towards helping America, Families, Freedom, Education, Safety or other important things that will be tacked onto the end of this bill along the way. Also, it aims to help people understand that propaganda is bad. Not necessarily our propganda here at home, but the bad guys’ propaganda. Real, real bad.
First, laws will be emplaced to help make you free. You might think, “Well, I thought I was free”. Don’t be silly. This is going to give you levels of freedom that would make your head explode if you even could imagine them. So free, there are really no words to describe it. Just know, freedom.
Next, as mentioned, it will help to let people know of the evils of propaganda. We didn’t really have enough pages written on propaganda to make it its own law, so we just kind of threw it in here. Hey, it’s important.
Additional powers will be given to families, like more time to spend enjoying sunny weather for recreational activities (see our endnotes on climate change). Also, we will make sure that older siblings stop picking on younger siblings by giving year end benefits to those kids who pick on their brothers and sisters less. Moms and Dads will enjoy more quality time together as babysitting will become much more lucrative with our new policies on government money for babysitting and new convict-to-babysitter programs. Look for families to become a lot more awesome.
We might give money to schools. Unless we use it somewhere else. Moving on.
The rest of the act gets really wordy, and I haven’t really had the free time to read it. I have been really busy doing other important things, but lots of people who also haven’t really read the whole thing have good feelings about it too. So, it’s a really good idea. There were some rumors started that somewhere around page 4500 there was something about “destroying the constitution” and “placing an emperor over the dumb sheep” and “sacrificing 1/2 of all children to a bloodthirsty god”, but those rumor were started by people who wear suits all day. Suits.
In conclusion, remember that if you don’t support this act it means not only are you a pinko-commie, freedom hating, pro-Big Brother, family hating, dumb child loving jerk who likes danger, you also are probably a meanie who wants to club bald eagles to death. Shame on you.
Short URL: http://www.narf.tv/?p=904
Posted by Wharff
on May 3 2010. Filed under Government.
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